Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
