I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
