new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
