I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
