Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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