It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
