I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
someone owes me an orgasm
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
