the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I could make wine with my vomit
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's never too late to be topless.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
