can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
