I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
