someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
