so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
