But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
