he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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