remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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