yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
