They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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