wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
