he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
