whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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