All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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