i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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