Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I think people are normalizing furries
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
