I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
