The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I have post one night stand depression
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