wanna go halves on a baby?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
