She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She announced her abortion via fbk
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
