Farmville is her only friend.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
