I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
