Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
home. puking in laundry basket.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
His nipple licking is glorious
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