oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
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