put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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