as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
