ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
