Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
