she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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