so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
