Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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