Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm drive I can fine osifer
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
