Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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