so let's talk penis.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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