he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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