My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
