if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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