If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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