The maid of honor just puked.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
