I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
