You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
