she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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