love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
