a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
